The following is a portion of a series of reflections on the book War of Words by Paul David Tripp. You may also want to read the first and second reflections in this series.

Tripp sums up the Biblical approach to relationships and communication on page 160: “We all need a redemptive perspective on our relationships.” The purpose of communication, then, is not to get a message across. It is not to make yourself heard, nor is it to achieve happiness, mutual understanding, or agreement on a controversial issue. The purpose of communication–and in fact, the message of the Gospel–is redemption. Tripp goes on to tell the agonizing story of a father and his son’s sin, ending with this comment about redemption: “[God] called [the father] to share in the suffering so that [the father] would share in the glory of [God's] work of change” (173).

Throughout Tripp’s final section on winning the war of words, there is no emphasis on achieving any goal other than God’s. Repeated focus is put on the heart. Further, the Christian is called to repent before speaking. That repentance is key in solving communication, rather than an established set of tips or techniques. “Repentance in Scripture is defined as a radical change in your heart that leads to a radical change in your life” (177). Heart change, then, leads to life change–and of course the words that are emitted from a Gospel heart will be aligned with the Gospel, rather than a personal agenda.

God’s mission through Jesus was and is to rescue sinful man. As part of that mission, every Christian is called to be a minister of reconciliation:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. –2 Cor. 5:17-20

There’s a simple and logical conclusion here. If all Christians are called to reconcile, and to be agents of God, then our chief end must necessarily be rescue and reconciliation. Further, it is the message of reconciliation we are entrusted with. A message is ultimately a collection of words. How does a Christian win the war of words? They seek to reconcile others to God through Jesus Christ. Ultimately, this end has little to do with winning for the individual at all.

Acts 6 records a rather curious incident in the earliest history of the Christian church:

Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” –Acts 6:1-4

Is preaching more important than caring for the poor?

There are an incredible number of inferences here to be drawn from this passage; as many of them are incorrect as correct. One in particular comes to light, though, and I recently had a friend ask me about it:

I’m interested in the seemingly (sic) principle that preaching the Word is more important than feeding the poor.

This is a good and appropriate question in light of Acts 6. The twelve apostles apparently see it as more important to preach the Word of God than to serve tables (6:2). Make no mistake, either: the apostles are making a value judgment. They don’t say they would “prefer” not to serve tables; they say it is “not right” to serve tables.

A note on arestos and pleasing

As a parenthesis: The word translated “right” in the ESV (as in “not right… to serve tables”) is arestos in Greek; it’s important to note that while this word can relate to pleasure, and be rendered “pleasing,” that is not the simple usage of arestos here or in the New Testament as a whole. The NASB has the passage this way:

It is not desirable for us to neglect the word of God in order to serve tables… (NASB)

This usage gets at the sense of arestos. The desire or pleasing here does not relate to what the apostles desired as a matter of personal preference; rather this desire refers to the common purpose both of God and the well-being of the audience. Here is another example: It is not desirable for a society to condone murder. The desire here is not simply a desire for chocolate or a new PlayStation; rather, the desire relates to the overall good.

Scripture prioritizes preaching the gospel

The apostles, then, contend that it is not good that they serve tables. Is this, then, stating that preaching the Word is better than serving tables, serving others, or more pointedly, caring for the poor? In a word: yes. That is exactly what is being communicated here. In fact, this is the consistent message of the New Testament.

When the woman came to Jesus at Bethany and anointed Jesus’ head with expensive ointment, Jesus praised her for spending her time and resources on Him, rather than the poor:

Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. –Mat. 26:10, 11

When Jesus likens His kingdom to a feast in Luke 14, and encourages the invitation go out to the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind, he never speaks of healing or physical provision for these downtrodden cripples and poor men and women. Rather, the feast itself is the reward. Jesus is saying, again, He (and by extension, His kingdom, His feast) is more valuable than helping the poor in any physical or social sense, or even over the healing of the blind and lame.

Take this comparison between preaching the Word of God and helping the poor via meeting physical needs to extremes: which is better? To preach the Word of God, or to help the poor, given than you must choose only one? The poor man can be converted to Christ and enter into joy with Jesus forever while remaining poor; but can the poor-made-rich man take his new-found gain into eternity with him, apart from Jesus? Certainly not.

The poor must not be ignored

However, there are those who would stand behind their ivory pulpits, preaching all day long, and ignore the poor. This is a grave mistake; there is no extreme, preach or help. We can both preach the gospel of the glory of God and help the poor. You could not safely quote Jesus in Luke and Matthew, above, and not also quote him, in those same books:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” –Mat. 5:3

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed…” — Luke 4:18

Paul also had a particular love for the poor:

…they asked us to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do. –Gal. 2:10

James, pastor of the church at Jerusalem, speaks of a test of purity for religion that involves helping the poor, specifically orphans and widows:

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. –Jam. 1:27

Clearly, ignoring the poor is not an option. And preaching the gospel while ignoring the poor is just as unacceptable in the sight of Jesus, Paul, and the early church.

In fact, return to Acts 6. The apostles reaction to being stretched was not to ignore the poor. Instead, they immediately brought more people into service. It seems that caring for the poor was so essential that they immediately acted on the problem. They refused to stop preaching the gospel, but in light of their limitations to preach and serve the poor, they enlisted others to aid them.

An issue of gifting is at stake

It is also important to note that a beautiful picture of community exists in this passage. The apostles have been trained by Jesus Himself to preach and teach His doctrine. Supposing that Jesus did not knowingly pick men who would become gifted teachers would be, first, to insinuate Jesus was an idiot, as these men would be the primary and prominent leaders in His church; and second, it would suppose that the early church’s leaders were disqualified by the standards set forth by Paul in the very book from which these men would preach. (See 1 and 2 Timothy for a robust listing of elder and pastor qualifications.)

Taking all this as foundational, then, the apostles were particularly gifted as teachers. They would be possessors of the gifts of “utterance of wisdom” and “utterance of knowledge,” as described in 1 Cor. 12:4-14. It is logical, as well, to suppose that those the apostles chose to serve the poor were similarly gifted. Stephen soon after preaches one of the Bible’s most famous sermon’s, although the altar call was unexpectedly unfruitful for Stephen, albeit fruitful for Saul. Further, would not the apostles have chosen men–and then God ratified and refined that choice–that were spiritual helpers?

There is an issue here, then, of gospel community. Not only are the apostles correctly prioritizing the preaching of the gospel and the Word of God, but they are calling others to walk in their own gifts. The apostles are fostering an active community, where leaders beget leaders. This is not a case where the “paid leaders” do all the work, have a monumental staff, and allow the pews to be warmed by those “less mature.” Instead, the community is engaged to fill the holes of ministry.

The gospel is the best provision for the poor

This is all perhaps best culminated through another quotation from Jesus, also in Matthew. Here, Jesus answers a request from John: “Are you the one who is to come?” Jesus answers by quoting Isaiah, and addresses the preaching of the gospel and the care of the poor by combining the two:

“…the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them.” –Mat. 11:5 (emphasis mine)

Would it be stretching the text to suggest that Jesus is in fact implying that the best possible course is to preach the gospel to the poor? Could He be suggesting that while meeting physical needs is important, it is in fact the preaching of the Word that most ministers to the poor? In fact, in this context, that is a sign of Jesus’ presence: that the gospel is preached to the poor.

​And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” – Luke 22:19

I woke from sleeping late last night and wandered into my office. This is not always a good thing–I don’t sleep well as it is–but it seemed God had better ideas for my shouldn’t-be-waking hours. I ran across a tweet from a friend that said, simply, Dear friends, I would appreciate some prayers that God would break the hearts of a few people close to me. thank you.

I count it great joy to pray for my friends, as it’s not been long in my life that I’ve had close friends who were honest enough–dare I say that I acted in such a way to encourage them to be honest enough–to offer up their hopes and needs and failures. So I began to pray for my buddy’s friends.

Quickly, though, my prayer changed. I continued to pray for my friend’s friends, that their cold stony hearts would be softened to Jesus, to the light of His glorious self, to the power and transformation that a real encounter with the Gospel brings. Additionally, though, I thought about the times that I have asked God to break hearts; and in each instance, God used the stony hearts of others to till up the hard ground in my own heart. God rarely does one thing; He more often does a thousand that we see, and a million that we don’t.

So I prayed something like this:

God, break up the hearts of these men and women that my friend is praying for. Ravage them with your goodness and your grace, and use my friend in that process. Allow him to see fruit that he might glorify You in answering His prayers.

But here’s where my prayer shifted:

God, break my friend’s heart. In hurting for these others, cause his hurt to be turned toward You. As You move in His friends–and I trust You to do that–move in him. As his friends weep and repent and see You afresh, cause him to weep and repent as well. Give him soulish eyes. Give him brokenness, and in this, glorify Yourself. Cause him to be fit to serve you in new soft heart, upward eyes, and penitent mind.

This brings me to Luke, and our great Savior offering the cup to those closest to Him. He breaks the bread, and gives those broken pieces to them. As He breaks that bread, He is mindful of being broken (and as He pours the cup, He is thinking of His own blood about to be poured out).

This is not incidental. In a world of fallen sinful men and women, it is impossible for our healing, our sanctification, our salvation to happen apart from the breaking of others. Justice must be honored; the price must be paid, as Romans 3:23 clearly states:

For the wages of sin is death… – Rom. 3:23 (only the first part, thank Jesus)

So what? How does this all connect? Quite simply: when we pray for broken hearts, when we hurt for those we love, we must offer our lives as broken offerings, we must pray that Christ would see fit to make us broken offerings; only then can we effectively help those who themselves need stone turned to sand, petrification turn to liquidity.

God, break my friend’s hearts today. God, break my friend’s heart today. And God, break my own heart. You broken Your Son for me, and He need not be broken again. But I do need breaking, today, so will You break me, and put me back together?

We pray for Your glory, O God; for the glory of Your name.